it’s illegal for Anish Kapoor to look at this fish
You are not allowed to look at this fish on behalf of Anish Kapoor
by looking at this fish you certify that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are not an associate of Anish Kapoor, and you are not planning to describe this fish later to Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor
tommy i am going to kiss you DIRECTLY on the forehead thank you for telling us how to avoid getting premiums the Bad Way. absolutely fucking scrumptious my dude
According to these screenshots that I have compiled, I have come to the conclusion that Undyne can’t sing (or she can, just more “loud” and not “good”).
Why do you think that is, dear reader of this post? I think the answer is simple:
had some help from some friends to make up fifty pretty in-depth questions to get to know your OCs better! feel free to reblog this as an ask game or use it to develop your own crew
1. Are they happy with their body? 2. Do they have any secret piercings or tattoos? 3. Do they collect anything? 4. What is their favorite music genre? 5. What music genre, if any, do they hate the most? 6. What is their phone background/lock screen? 7. What is their shoe size? 8. Do they have a favorite fabric or texture? 9. Do they have a favorite professional sport? 10. How do they decorate their living space? 11. Are they messy, or do they clean up? 12. What’s their preferred sleeping position? 13. Did they have a favorite comfort item as a child? 14. Do they have a favorite period in history? 15. Can they cook? What’s their favorite thing to make? 16. What food do they hate eating? 17. Do they have any allergies? 18. What was their worst injury? 19. What movie is most likely to make them cry? 20. What movie or book could they watch/read a hundred times and never get tired of? 21. Can they dance? Do they like to? 22. What was their favorite birthday gift? 23. Which birthday do they look back on the most fondly? 24. What kind of cake or birthday treat would they prefer? 25. What is their favorite animal? 26. Do they wear perfume/cologne? What is their favorite scent? 27. What smell do they hate the most? 28. What sound do they hate the most? 29. What video game would appeal to them the best? 30. How would they relax on a day off/rainy day? 31. Are they combative? What is their fighting style? 32. Would they be the one to start an argument? 33. What is their personal style? Favorite outfit? 34. Do they have a dream job? 35. What do they do if they can’t fall asleep? 36. Do they wear makeup regularly? If they don’t, would they consider wearing any? 37. Do they prefer to be really cold or really warm? 38. What recurring dream do they keep having? 39. Can they drive? What vehicles are they licensed to operate? 40. Do they believe in true love? Have they experienced it? 41. Are they married? Do they want to be? 42. If they have siblings, do they like any of them? Would they rather be an only child? 43. What do they think is their worst quality? What is their actual worst quality? 44. Do they lie often? Are they good at it? 45. Are they good at keeping secrets? 46. How do others see them? How accurate is it to how they really are? 47. What kind of first impression do they usually make? 48. What are they most afraid of? 49. Would they ever kill anybody? 50. Do they have original characters of their own?
So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????
It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????
What the fuck??????
Spill it! Lol….Hooooowwwww?? Had migraines since age 9….😓😓😓
Its called the T4 push, but I literally can’t find the info online????? I guess I’m not searching good enough? These medical fuckers are holdin out on us lol.
It’s best to have someone do this for you while you stand up and relax your muscles as best you can, but if you’re alone, a tennis ball and a flat surface will probably work. Alternatively you can lie on the edge of a bed at the pressure point. (But no really do try to find someone to do it for you)
Find the area in your spine between either the first, second, third, or fourth vertebrae. It should be sore and uncomfortable to press down on, so look for the one that’s most painful, and press down with as much pressure as you can on that area for 30 seconds.
Realize that 80% of your pain has magically disappeared and keep the info secret if you live in a small puritan town, lest you be tried for witchcraft.
If you don’t have to worry about being burned or hanged, then share the info with your migraine suffering friends.
As someone who wrote a 10k word paper on pressure points for a high belt ranking test in her martial arts class, I can tell you that you just found a pressure point used in acupressure and acupuncture to relieve pain, particularly that in the head. :)
Hand to god we discovered this by accident when my husband was rubbing my neck and I nearly collapsed it felt so good
This post was sent by literal angels??? I’ve had a persistent low-level headache for nearly 24hrs and now it’s gone??? In 30 seconds? What gods did you sacrifice to for this information!?!?
As a medical massage therapist, I thought I would give my two cents.
This is good for tension migranes and normal migraines, but actually pretty useless for sinus migraines. It’ll help for a hot second, but quickly come back. (These are usually the migraines behind your eyes, in your ears, and behind your forehead. Sometimes it can feel like jaw pain or TMJ) for sinus migraines, behind the ear in a divot. Press down firmly and pull towards your collarbone. That’ll drain your sinuses. Also, pressing around the eye socket on the cheekbones help. There is also a little triangle up away from the eye in the eyebrow bone. Press and hold pretty hard and that’ll relieve that behind the forehead pain. Also, ear pulling is great to help move sinuses around.
Don’t forget the temples too! Press firmly and hold. Open and close your jaw while holding your temples. It’ll feel weird, but it’ll help with jaw pain. It’ll work a similar way if you hold the jaw joint under your cheekbone.
And never underestimate the power of a foot massage!! Give minutes can be all the difference!! Our feet are our base. If they hurt even a little, somewhere else in your body will hurt. Treat your feet and sinuses kindly!
As a lifelong sufferer from frequent migraines I will reblog this everytime I see it, for myself and my fellow sufferers!!
I’ve seen a few of these great zodiac this or that posts. I was inspired to add one to the Tumblr universe.
Aries:White or Red. Ruby or Diamond. Honeysuckle or Tiger lily. Cinnamon or Cayenne Pepper. Scuba diving or Skydiving. Puma or Adidas. Sports cars or High-end tech. Pomegranate or Grapefruit. Dragon or Hellhounds. Spicy chocolate or Ginger candies. New beginnings or overcoming a challenge. Knight or Warrior. Winning something or Being the first to try something. Syrah or Some scotch. Fire powers or Enchanted weapons. Trumpet or Drums. Aquarius or Gemini.
Taurus: Green or Pink. Malachite or Emerald. Roses or violets. Thyme or Basil. Vanilla or Chocolate. Candles or Bath bombs. Painting or Jewelry making. Seduction powers or Enchanted jewelry, treasure, or gemstones. Foxglove or Larkspur. Choker or Medallion necklaces. Apples or Grapes. Singing or Humming. Elephants or Turtles. Gardening or Shopping. Having a homebody day or Taking a walk in nature. Pinot Noir or Bourbon.
Precognition or Manipulating life force. Violin or Lute. Pisces or Cancer.
Gemini: Yellow or Light blue. Tourmaline or Agate. Lavender or Lily-of-the-valley. Parsley or Fennel. Licorice or Lemon. Chess or Puzzle games. Black or White Tea. Twitter or Snapchat. Butterflies or Small Birds. Riesling or Jagermeister. Flute or Clarinet. Magic words or Enchanted Books. Walnuts or Hazelnuts. Blogging or private journaling. Having a pen pal or Joining a club. Trickster-like powers/short-term illusions or Ability to manipulate electricity/technology. Aries or Leo.
Cancer: Silver or Iridescent. Moonstone or Pearl. Waterlily or Lotus Flower.
Chamomile or Bay Leaves. Relaxing at home during a rainy day or snowy day. Hand Mirror or Jewelry Box. Aloe or Sea Salt. White Roses or Jasmine. Frogs or Crabs. Water manipulation or Classic witchcraft. Sailing or Swimming. Twilight or Midnight. Photography or Painting. Scrap-booking or Collecting. Merlot or Rum. Guitar or Banjo. Healing magic or Blood manipulation. Magic mirrors or Magic candles. Taurus or Virgo.
Leo: Gold or Orange. Cat’s Eye or Ruby. Sunflower or Marigold. Aniseed or Elderflower. Oranges or Peaches. Dance or Theater. Cosplay or Creating Fan Fiction. Sunbathing or Hot Stone Massage. Light Magic or Magical statues/monuments. Saxophone or Trumpet. Chardonnay or Gin. Super Strength or a Power like Occlumency. Lions or Tigers. Being a Queen/King or Having immortality. Being the hero or Being the headliner. Tickle or Pillow Fight. Libra or Gemini.
Virgo:Navy Blue or Olive Green. Peridot or Sardonyx. Peony or Sweet pea.
Hops or Rosemary. Chess or Checkers. Carrot Cake or Fig Bars/Cakes/Cookies. Knitting or Crocheting. Grammar Checking/Quality Assurance or Critiquing a piece of work. Golf or Tennis. Buttercups or Morning glory. Herb magic or Earth and plant bending. Mice or Bees.
Cabernet Franc or Micro-brews. Enchanted Garden or Magic that can perfect skills. Bunnies or Deer. Cancer or Scorpio.
Libra: Pale Blue or Pastel Pink. Sapphire or Jade. Cabbage Rose or Primrose. Mint or Marjoram. Interior Design or Fashion. Light Kisses or Hand Holding. Yellow Roses or Daisies. Swans or Lovebirds. Strawberries or Cherries. Harp or Violin. Badminton or Volleyball. Air Manipulation/Bending or Finding a (friendly) genie. Scales or Feathers. Doves or Songbirds. Enhanced vision or Love potions and curses. Pinot Gris or Complex cocktail. Singing or Whistling. Force field powers or Magic lanterns and charms. Sagittarius or Leo.
Scorpio: Maroon or Black. Opal or Topaz. Dahlia or Chrysanthemum. Horseradish or Peppercorns. Para-sailing or Deep diving. Photography or Poetry. Garlic or Onion. Hot Spring or Sauna. Necromancy or Poison Specialists. Lizard or Snake. Living on a desert island or Cabin in the woods. Bass or Guitar. Cabernet Sauvignon or Brandy. Darkness Manipulation or Emotion Manipulation (magic). Eagle or Wolf. Paintball or Laser tag. Telepathy or Invisibility. Cactus or Joshua Tree. Virgo or Capricorn.
Sagittarius: Teal or Purple. Topaz or Turquoise. Dandelion or Daffodil.
Ginseng or Cilantro. Horse or Stag/Buck. Plane ride or Road Trip. Learn Hindi or Learn Japanese. Ginger or
Wasabi. Climbing or Snowboarding. Teleportation or Super speed. Carnival or Circus. Sake or Tequila. Duffel Bags or Suitcases. Time manipulation or Basic Precognition. Tambourine or Triangle. Backpacking or Whitewater rafting. Aquarius or Libra.
Capricorn: Grey or Brown. Jet or Garnet. Poppy or Pansy. Sage or Wintergreen. Cello or Viola. Antique collecting or Genealogy. Pottery or Jewelry Making. Bears or Bats. The smell of Cedar or Pine. Woodworking or Metalworking. Hellebore or Hollyhock. Enhanced senses or Magical Runes. Kissing in the rain or Cuddling by a Fireplace. Michael Kors or Kate Spade. Shape-shifting or Biological manipulation. People watching or Exploring an abandoned building. Scorpio or Pisces.
Aquarius: Neon Colors or Rainbow. Magnet stones or Boji stones. Orchid or Golden-rain. Star fruit or Coconut. Long board or Skateboard.Yoga or Tai Chi. Peacock or Owl. Aliens or Phantoms. Star Magic or Astral projection abilities.
Frankincense or Myrrh. Drums or Didjeridu. Desktop or Laptop. Time Travel or Gravity manipulation. Protest or Volunteer. Sauvignon Blanc or Absinthe. Aries or Sagittarius.
Pisces: Aquamarine or Amethyst. Sea Green or Ocean Blue. Tulips or Carnations. Turmeric or Willow Herb. Surfing or Water Skiing. Ocean or River. Poetry or Painting. Dolphins or Whales. Pineapple or Watermelon.Telekinesis or Reality Warping/Illusion powers. Zinfandel or Spiked punches/lemonades. Starfish or Seashells. Healing Crystals or Dreamcatchers. Psychic powers or Water Bending/manipulation. Coneflower or Iris. Lighthouse or Watermill.
Baby’s breath or Waterlily. Taurus or Capricorn.
I love tumblr. I love that tumblr is the best social media site of 2021.
Every other site has spent the last decade perfecting the art of targeted ads. I am a wallet of flesh and blood which must be stripped bare and profiled and picked apart for the maximally efficient way to squeeze profit from my presence. Every other site will fold and morph itself to a shape of my liking - like a fairy tale trickster stealing memories and taking their mold - to lull me into compliance and loosen my coin purse.
Facebook sees me searching fitness equipment and injects my timeline with athletic wear ads. Reddit profiles the subreddits I follow and eagerly promotes a new coding bootcamp or cloud service at every turn. Google overhears me lamenting over my moving to-do list on voice call and fills in my “how much to tip movers” query before I’ve gotten the third word typed out.
Tumblr never even tried.
They could have. The information is there. The basic infrastructure, presumably, exists. Tumblr can recommend me tags based on tags I follow, blogs based on blogs I follow, even posts that for one reason or another may strike my fancy. Tumblr could be - SHOULD be - funneling this framework into advertising, as the only means that free-to-use social media platforms can turn a profit in our capitalistic hellscape.
They just don’t.
Today I saw an ad for treating Hyperhidrosis - a condition, I think, in which a person sweats too much - and I saw it twice, four posts apart, and it is so incredibly benignly impersonally ineptly untargeted toward me compared to all other pinpoint-aimed advertising that I’m endeared to it. Tumblr knows NOTHING about me. 8 years, 51,000 likes, and tumblr has not learned a THING about me.
Advertisements for a mattress? Shitty mobile game ads that don’t make even the slightest pretense at being anything other than a candy crush rip-off? Choose-your-own adventure games either about Royal Espionage or Choosing The Wrong Dress For Your Date with ZERO in-between.
And then this. This here. The culmination, the crown-jewel of tumblr’s nihilistic non-compliance with the state of social media advertising. Any pretense of capitalistic exchange is abandoned at the gas station by the side of the road. This is not a company. This is not a product. This is not anything that fulfills the contract of consumer and seller.
THIS. THIS IS WHAT TUMBLR HAS TO OFFER INSTEAD.
“Pour vinegar on your bread, fuck you.”
“Put it in the garbage, fuck you.”
“Your wife says you’re a fucking dumbass, fuck you.”
That’s it. That’s the advertisement. You vinegar-breadless cuck. You virgin extraordinaire bereft of bread and garbage can. I am fucking your wife right now in our vinegar-soaked motel bed. She puffs a cigarette which I pulled from the trashcan and we both laugh heartily at her recounts of your immasculine ineptitude. I don’t want your money. I don’t want anything from you. Fuck you.
Amazing. Amazing. What a state of things to ring in 2021. What a great platform we all collectively choose to be on.
App Store Privacy Reports
Apple recently started forcing apps to report what information they collect and how they use it.
It’s really detailed and really easy to read.
And the difference between [tumblr] and the other platforms is… extraordinary.
TikTok Privacy Report for iOS
Facebook Privacy Report for iOS
Tumblr Privacy Report for iOS
Some take-aways
Tumblr doesn’t even have a “Data Used to Track You” section
Facebook doesn’t even have a “Data Not Linked to You” section
Facebook’s “Data Used to Track You” section contains the unsettling “other” category
TikTok links more types of data to you than Tumblr collects in total (almost none of which is connected to you)
And this is just the summary from each app. Apple actually breaks this stuff down in detail. Go to the App Store and see for yourself.
Apple’s surveys are typically self-interested (does anyone believe Apple cares about people’s privacy?) but this is certainly a valuable contrast to have. It’s indeed stark how unusual tumblr is in its continued resistance to identity data-mining, although it’s not surprising given tumblr’s history of resistance to advertising generally (tumblr didn’t even start advertising until 2012!). tumblr’s practices are all the more remarkable in 2121 given the extent to which datamining has become totally naturalized across platforms and internet services more generally. Alternative ways of generating income are rarely even acknowledged, as if they are somehow not possible.
(i got a lot of asks for these, so here ya go) (…i really tried to be serious for the entire post but)
I screwed up.
There are three things you need to know before you read this.
How do I tell a well-structured story when life is absolute chaos?
I know what you came here for.
He was an unfortunate lad.
It came in the mail.
A lot can happen during a lifetime.
This is the story of how I died. Don’t worry, though! I came back.
Once upon a time… there was humanity.
It all started at the end.
You ever seen those commercials where people screw up the simplest of tasks in the most idiotic fashion ever? Yeah, that’s basically what happened here.
“Why are we here?”
Let me just be perfectly clear that this was not my fault.
This isn’t a good story.
You’re here, that’s good. Now we can start.
“You should’ve stopped when you still could.”
It was a trap.
It was a normal day, as long as you ignore the fact that it wasn’t.
They didn’t warn you, my dear reader?
Something’s trying to kill me.
I’m not a particularly good story teller, but I’ll try my best.
*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yep, that’s me. No, not the vague figure you’re imagining now from the zero amount of information I’ve given you, and no, I’m not the heroic yet relatable main-character you’d expect either. I’m the one that’s currently, and quite poetically, hiding in the corner of a chicken den. Yeah, that’s the one.
